Sunday, July 24, 2005 @1:29 am
okay.
so sometimes i think i think too much. i'm me.. i cant help it. i'm not purposely dwelling on any particular thing. you know? it's just that i always look into every detail that is given to me. i look into every detail of every reaction that comes from pple around me, every detail of every word said and tone of voice. and wat it means to me. how questions to me are being asked. so u can say, i'm a very sensitive person. indeed, i am. but that's how it is.
body language & tone of voice - very very very impt details to me. don ask me why. i'm just naturally like that, and i cant change it drastically to - i don care, that prolly doesnt mean anything to me. but i does.. it means something to me. how someone says something, or how someone behaves when he/she says something.
I just read very much into peoples' words and thoughts. that's why i don't really like to be so flippant about my words. most of the time i think a lot before i say something. only when i'm in a joke session, i know i can just shoot out anything but no one will mind cos we're all just joking. you know?
i think i feel v bad that i've read some actions wrongly, and that i've wronged some people and how they are towards me. i tend to think negatively sometimes when i read the body language and tone of voice. i just imagine. i know that's not very good. but in circumstances where everything happens like second after second, and where news and word gets spread around really quickly, i just piece everything together logically. and if everyone were to hear my full explanation, they'd be convinced by my thoughts. however. i'm not always right. in fact, quite a number of times i go wrong when i read these reactions kinda negatively. and sorry abt that lar okay. i really dont mean it. and it's not like i'm gonna hide it from everyone that i'm like that.
i wont deny that i'm wrong at many instances. because it's a fact, and besides. who am i to say anything? i really feel bad that i made pple feel bad cos of how i felt.. i really didnt mean it lar. so... sorry k. i nv really do express how i really feel at most of the time. because i feel that there's no need to. i know that i convince myself that sometimes i'm just being petty.
people will just think i'm a freak la.. cos i think too much. sometimes i really am not thinking too much. reading deeper into things just comes naturally and i'm not even spending the time to think abt the situation and ponder so much. the logic just pieces together by itself instantly in my mind. it just works very quickly in my mind.
sorry everyone. really.... (= and i'm reallllllllly okay. dont have to worry abt me yea?
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to you peeps. nessa enjoyed herself very much with u guys today.. thanks for making her feel welcome! haha she wants to join in again!!!!! tho she's the odd one out.. not from band.. lol.
i love every single clique outing we have. we just have so much crazy fun together!! and i mean crazy fun. the moment all of us are together. it's just fun noise and more noise!!!
i love u guys!!!!!
esp peee leen shin han!!!
and now new peeeeeps are brian! thanks rah and mel for joining in.. please do stay with us! haha. and andrew lee too!
-mandaa